Pensive mood

• “My” mind convulses with nagging contradictory thoughts and worries
• “My” heart aches for unfulfilled visions and un-manifested thoughts
• “My” body cries in pain and wants to suffer
• Expectations from others are growing
• Being “contented” suddenly seems to be a far dream
• The so called “purpose” of my living in in jeopardy
• Juggling with profusion of “Why(s)”
• Each second is like a trek up and down a mountain
• Reasons for such bouts of expression are unknown

The irony is all this is happening with the intellectual understanding lingering as below

• It’s all a well fabricated illusion and gone to an extent of penning it down here.
• The “I or Me or My” is not it and it encompasses nothing and everything! If it’s the absence then “who” is experiencing the above conditions! If it’s the universal presence, above conditions should be diluted and have no sense

Right now, the question remains..for “whom”?? “WHO????” WHO??????WHO?????

The primordial question alone remains…

A wash to the washbasin

A simple stuff....but a passing thought to pen it here!

Stayed at many places, clean”ing” is part of living and it happened without any hue and cry. The count of basins that I cleaned would be 8+ including the one at in-laws house :-). Of all these years, I did not take the opportunity to wash it at my house - the basin that I saw every morning while brushing my teeth for almost 15 years!!!!

I did it today……..

Not sure if am fortunate or the washbasin?

PG, again..

"Whether this kajal will smudge or not?" This was the discussion that went on for 5-10 mins and then comes the practical stunt. Person who bought it applies it to her eyes and everyone around is kinda validating to pass their comments. Then the topic shifts to a hair gel and how it turns color of the hair to white. I was thoroughly amused and was wondering how such topics can go on and on. Next, it was about a new haircut that one of the inmates donned. Well, this is common when a group of beauty-conscious women get together. What is uncommon is me being from the women clan felt that all these topics are so outlandish! I just could not connect to it at all.

A room messy with clothes around, unwashed plates beneath the bed and a smelly bathroom are the items that invite me with a warm hug when I moved in to this new PG accommodation. Undeterred, I arranged my clothes in the cupboard given, made my bed and settled in with a book oblivion to the surroundings!

Then suddenly power goes off, followed by a shriek that goes like “what the hellll..aaaaan..how do I wash my clothes”? So, someone around checks the fuse and fixes the power supply. After this, you hear a round of applause for the brave job well done! This continues with the discussion on “Maths” for the dinner that was ordered..”who shld pay what?” This goes for some time till one lady realized that food is becoming cold!

Well, all that made me wonder how I got caught up with such a script in the drama of life. Paying guest accommodation is nothing new to me - the surprise was on how many such episodes I need to act :-) , phew!

All said and done, the new place still is like a family. Being together is a common theme – while having dinner, or a chat in the balcony, pulling each other’s legs or watching TV etc. One of them gave me a blanket as it was too cold..it was a very nice gesture! They all helped to make me feel comfortable - the plates were cleaned, clothes were washed and I was offered to join them in the fun!

Anyways, this would be a stint and I would be moving out soon. One of my friends quoted the current scenario as “Iam like a drop of water on a lotus leaf”. Iam fine being that way and appreciating the beauty / fragrance of the lotus. Its evident that I need to tread out of the leaf one day and merge with the ocean!

Paradox

It started with a frisson and the flow followed
Safest is
The hands of a mother

and then it went on like this..
Longest is
The road of friendship

Tallest is
The heart of a giver

Shortest is
The first step to summit

Loudest is
The trumpet of the ego

Deepest is
The ravine of knowledge

Widest is
The wall of jealousy

Slimmest is
The space between fingers of a newborn

Greatest is
The marvel of creation

Fastest is
The race of thoughts

Quietest is
The space between those thoughts

Tiniest is
The twinkle of a distant star

Slowest is
The force to negate greater will

Darkest is
The ignorance of greater self

Shallowest is
The mind with temper

Hardest is
The acquaintance of perceived bondage

Easiest is
The process of forgetting that bondage

Finally, the last 2

Obscurest is
The illusory will to “not seek” any of the above

and

Dumbest is
The belief that “illusory will” will lead to understanding of your nature!

What a match?

He lives to eat,
I eat to live

He is seldom silent,
“Silence” is what I speak

(He) Yoga n mediation – what?
(Me) No yoga n meditation – what?

For him, Books – ok, sometimes..
For me, Books – always!

Car racing is his passion
Thought of driving a car gives me stress

Prefers helicopter landing on mountains’ summit
I like hiking all the way up!

He is hale n healthy and it shows,
Iam under-nourished and it shows as well

Shopping n window-shopping is his need
My need would end up in shopping

He is Cancer (water sign)
Iam a Virgo (earth sign)

Mucky language is his second mother tongue
Too much of courteousness eats my speech

He is sentimental, sensitive and caring
Iam practical and indifferent

Well, who cares and how does it matter? We are all set to cruise the sea of life hand in hand!

AVATAR

As written on 1/06/2010 :

I was totally dumbstruck by the grandiose of the movie. The special effects, animation, story line and interweaving of shots took the movie to zenith of entertainment. I thoroughly enjoyed watching this. The concepts like transmigration of souls across dimensions, bond across all beings and life source as one-energy are portrayed in a simple fashion! Some people may mistake it for fiction!

No wonder it took 10+ years to make this. It’s a must watch and I give full stars (if anyone cares)